“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18, NIV).
Disagreements, arguments, conflicts – they all have to do with people not being able to see eye-to-eye. People have severed friendships over conflicts. Countries have gone to war over conflicts. We don’t have to agree with each other to still be friends, so why do so many disagreements result in CONFLICT?
The bottom line is, we all want our own way. Or, we think we’ve been wronged. Or, we think we can do no wrong! Sometimes, even when we discover that we’re wrong, we refuse to admit it and the conflict just escalates!
I’m sure you can fill in the blank for whatever disagreements you’ve had with someone that have never been resolved. It might be over a divorce, an unfair business deal, undue favoritism, or the way you were treated or the way you treated another person.
We can try to resolve these conflicts on our own, but in order to really put them to rest; we have to ask ourselves, “What is the God-honoring way to resolve conflict?”
(1) The Bible tells us, “in your anger, do not sin” (Eph 4:26). We cannot allow our emotions to override our better judgment. In order to avoid a heated argument, we must foster open and honest COMMUNICATION. If we’re apt to fight, then we’d better fight clean and fair and be willing to listen to what the other person has to say. We don’t have to agree with them (unless they’re right!), but we should always listen.
(2) Probably among the most powerful two words in the English language are, “I’M SORRY.” Many people think that confessing a wrong is a sign of weakness, but this simple act of humility is one of the most God-honoring gifts we can give to each other. If you are wrong, admit it and ask for FORGIVENESS. If you have been wronged, be quick to offer FORGIVENESS. The Bible says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
(3) Finally, God has called us to be RECONCILED to Him. That is, through Christ, overcome evil so as to be in agreement with God. In the same way, Matthew 5:24 tells us that even before bringing our offering to the altar of God, we should FIRST, “Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
Conflict that goes unresolved will fester and darken our own hearts. It is we who will pay the ultimate price, in both our relationship with people and our relationship with God. If we can remember to Communicate, Forgive, and Reconcile, all in the name of Christ, then we can HONOR GOD, even in our disagreements – all while still agreeing in the FAITH in Christ that we share.
David McCall
Executive Pastor
